Guerilla Marketing is an unconventional way of performing promotional activities on a very low budget.  This form of advertising is best suited for those who are on a tight budget, or are in a struggling industry.  According the Recording Industry Association of America or RIAA, the record industry has suffered since the inception of Napster, Lime Wire, and bit torrent downloading programs.  Well, since they cannot figure out a way to get their pockets any fatter, I have come up with a few ideas that may just get the execs that villa in France they've always dreamed of.

As we are all aware, Americans, and the world for that matter are obsessed with American Idol, Pop Idol, or Uzbek Idol.  Regardless, of the name, the notion of marginally talented hacks singing bubblegum pop songs is somehow entertaining.  Well, here is an idea that will have every demographic glued to the tube night after night.  Instead of open casting calls, the contestants are actually members of a large record label, such as EMI or Sony BMG.  Now to really heat things up, the “idols” will actually be competing to keep their jobs, not to sign a deal.  That's right, the artists that are on the cusp of termination will battle it out night after night, and the public will decide their fate.  As for the songs that will be performed.  I find it no more fitting than to have the artists sing original tracks.  No more Bon Jovi, Blondie, or for God's sake Gwen Stefani.  This way, you can actually judge talent, not if they are on team “Soul Patrol,” or whatever that card carrying member of the AARP Taylor Hicks so cleverly rhymed.  I mean could you imagine if say Death Row Records or Rocafella Records were starring?  I mean even if you didn't like their genre, which of course would make you a “hata,” the burning suspicion that you know Ryan Seacrest will get mauled is enough to endure the music.  As for the judges of the competition, well there will be a mild shake up.  Randy Jackson will be canned faster than a new Chevy Chase late night talk show.  Randy doesn't have the marbles to keep saying “yo dawg” to the likes of Memphis Bleek, Young Jeezy, and Lil' (any word fits here).  Randy's replacement will be none other than Bobby Brown.  If he can put up with crazy ass Whitney Houston, I don't see why he couldn't handle the pressure of the highest rated show on television.  Paula Abdul will remain on staff, with one stipulation.  She must be inebriated like she was during her interview on Fox 11's Good Day LA (see below for video).  Finally everyone's favorite Simon Cowell, no more.  His replacement(s) will be real Brits Keith Richards and Elton John.  Yep, that's right; these two will go at it nastier than a pair of Michael Vick pit bulls.  Plus the line makers in Vegas will go nuts on the over-under of episodes Keith lives through. 

This next idea I cannot take full credit for.  My roommate once said he would pay $100 to see an ACT contest between Ying Yang Twins, Trick Daddy, Britney Spears, and Larry the Cable Guy.  Before we go any further, both twins would count as one.  At first I thought, what a terrible idea, Larry the Cable Guy for 8 hours?  Of course he is replaceable.  The potential is huge for this one of a kind television event.   Naturally it would have to be pay per view since I cannot imagine the number of swear words would be said.  The audience could interact with the live feed by seeing the questions in advance and answering via text messages, or smoke signals for those in West Virginia.  An overhead camera on all the “students” will show how they are answering the questions, where hilarity will ensue.  Frat houses everywhere will be drinking every time Britney answers incorrectly, and mothers everywhere will be praying their daughter doesn't end up like that.  Watching over the test taking to make sure there is no cheating or horse play will be Dennis Haskins, the czar of Bayside High in “Saved by the Bell.”    Much like a UFC, or boxing event there will be an under card, educationally driven of course.  I think a speech contest between Bob Dylan (hey I love him as much as the next guy), and a local nursing home resident with no teeth will do the trick.  A real sleeper in the lineup will be the spelling bee.  Scripps contests are welcome, but the most famous contestant will be Fergie.  She has become rich and famous for spelling in her songs “Glamorous” and “Fergalicious” two real works of a genius there. 

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