Secondhand smoke cloud migrates from Cincinnati to Kentucky.
CINCINNATI – A massive cloud of secondhand smoke originating from bars and restaurants in Cincinnati is being monitored closely by meteorologists this month as it floats south toward it's soon to be new home in Kentucky. Health officials have taken special interest in what appears to be appears to be an equally massive lung cancer formation closely accompanying the cloud system. Kentucky bar and restaurant owners are planning a cloud arrival ceremony during which the Cincinnati cloud will be merged with the existing Kentucky cloud to create what is being called the supercloud. Newport Mayor Thomas Guidugli commented, “The supercloud brings extraordinary economic opportunities to this region. The revenue from lung cancer treatment alone provides the capital to build additional bars and restaurants.”
- John Edwards impregnates juror numbers 2, 5, 6, 9, and 11
- Hollywood accepts Presidential cabinet position
- Bush library downsized to informational kiosk
- Barney Frank unable to concentrate during Brad Pitt visit to Capitol Hill
- Animal control officers kill Shih-Tzu mistaken for vicious Pit Bull
- Somali pirates escape disguised as Long John Silvers workers