Mallory Prefers Mitchell’s Over Phyllis
CINCINNATI - For his facials, Swedish massages, mani/pedis, and bikini waxes, aroma therapy, and capuccino with mocha drizzle, Mayor Mark Mallory has declared a winner in the most fabulous beauty salon in the tri-state: It’s Mitchells over Phyllis. DERF went on location to ask some of the staff about Mallory’s regular visits. Gregory, a strapping young Mitchell’s masseur, reported that the mayor specifically requests his services once, sometimes twice every week. And contrary to the rumors about African Americans being stingy with the tips, Gregory insists that our fair mayor is “more than generous” with his post-massage gratuity. So next time you're at Mitchell's and you detect a delicate balsamic floral fragrance with subtle musky undertones the Mayor may be in the room next door!
- Obama Administration hires George Zimmerman to threaten Syrian President with handgun
- Suspects found David Pepper's abduction not only profitable but also informative.
- Mayor Mallory thrilled to begin wearing dreadlocks wig indefinitely
- Honey Boo Boo gets high marks for moderating Vice Presidential Debate
- George Bush opts not to seek third Presidential term
- 100 DAYS: Michelle Obama's Questionable Fashion Debut