Police horses learning to ride police Segways
CINCINNATI – Police Officers riding Segways have become a common site downtown, and the Police Department has announced that horses riding them will soon be just as common.
The initiative is expected to ease the physical burden of the hardest working members of the police force. Additionally, the personal motorized vehicles will assist police horses that have become too old or overweight to effectively walk their beat while saving the city thousands of dollars in horse replacement costs.
Many Police Officers who currently patrol on Segways explained they are uncomfortable with their appearance when riding the toy-like devices and are happy to hand over their Segway to a deserving horse. Speaking anonymously, one officer commented, “We get ridiculed a lot on these things. The horses won’t mind as much.”
Tentative plans also include expansion of the program to include the K-9 unit. Police dogs are currently being trained to ride in the saddle of a horse that is riding a Segway. This bundled approach efficiently incorporates the most valuable elements of the police force in a cohesive self-contained unit.
- T.J. Houshmandzadeh miraculously maintains straight face while saying 'decision to leave was difficult'
- Weiner challenges opponent to debate via sexting
- U.N. Security Council deploys Charlie Sheen to consume all Syrian chemical weapons
- Venezuela, Nicaragua, and Bolivia offer asylum to George Zimmerman
- Helen Thomas buys retirement condo in Gaza Strip
- Bush family gardener appointed Secretary of Agriculture.