Victory in Iraq - Bush officials reports finding stockpiles of illegally removed Iraqi mattress tags.
Baghdad - Confiscating what is possibly the last remnants of Saddam's evil regime, the Fourth Marines Infantry Division has seized control of several Iraqi warehouses containing thousands of mattress tags illegally removed by the former regime. “This is a victory for all American’s in the war against terrorism.”, Commented Vice President Dick Cheney, "The evil regime has perpetrated this cruelty on the Iraqi people for years and there is no doubt this type of activity would have eventually come to US soil.
- Obama Administration hires George Zimmerman to threaten Syrian President with handgun
- Paul Ryan chosen by Mitt Romney in close margin over Gabby Douglas
- BP officials encourage oil-soaked birds to smile once in a while
- Greeks continue protest by not breaking dishes
- Hollywood accepts Presidential cabinet position
- Islamic extremists declare war on Family Circus