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Judge Tracy Hunter awaits nomination to Supreme Court

CINCINNATI, OH - The political world was shaken by the death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. As Republicans plan to do everything they can to delay the appointment of a new justice, President Obama plans to proceed by nominating a candidate, setting the stage for an intense political battle. The battle may become even more intense, as reports confirm that Judge Tracy Hunter is awaiting President Obama’s nomination to the Supreme Court.


Judge Hunter’s nomination would be a surprise to legal and political analysts who expected that President Obama would take a cautious approach to the appointment. “It would be unprecedented on many levels,” said analyst Jeffrey Osborn. “She would be the first nominee to come from such a low level court background. She would be the first nominee to be banned from the bench at the time of nomination due to a decades long legal battle. And, she would be one of very few nominees to possess crazy cartoon character eyes.”


Other experts believe that the appointment may be part of a larger strategy by the President. “Obama knows that his nominee is not going to be confirmed by the Senate,” said consultant Richard Hampton. “So he might just want to throw someone like Tracy Hunter out there as cannon fodder. There have been reports that he was also considering Judge Judy and 94 year old Judge Wapner too, but was worried the Senate might actually want to confirm them.”


“I am looking forward to the President’s phone call,” said Judge Hunter. “I’ve been borrowing money from friends to keep minutes on my phone since all of my other cash is wrapped up in legal fees. Speaking of which, if I’m not immediately confirmed, I hope the Senate is ready to be served with upwards of three hundred and fifty legal challenges from my team.”