72 year old Oscar Robertson defeats UC Bearcats in scrimmage
CINCINNATI, OH - An easy going practice soon turned into another embarrassing outing for the UC basketball team this week, as 72 year old Oscar Robertson single handedly defeated the Bearcat starting five in a 20 minute practice game.
“We’re a young team with a lot to learn,” said Bearcat head coach Mick Cronin. “We certainly made some mistakes out there on the court against Mr. Robertson, but the fact is we were just beaten by a better player. I tip my hat to the Big O.”
The game was tight in the early going, but Robertson soon discovered that he was able to slice through the Bearcat defense, resulting in easy layups. “I guess I had to remind these kids who invented the head fake,” said Oscar. “They gave me a couple of hard fouls after my tenth straight bucket, so at least they have some spirit. Then I just started draining my fade away jump shot. They really never stood a chance.”
Despite playing the Bearcats starting five all by himself and taking every shot, many onlookers were quick to point out that Yancy Gates still appeared to be the most selfish player on the court.
“I think I could have played some better D,” lamented Robertson. “Fact is, if I still had both of my kidneys, I would have made some of these guys cry.”
The loss to Robertson comes just as the team was beginning to recover from a loss to Presbyterian, a team that is in its final year of transitioning to Division 1. “I’m not sure what is worse,” pondered Cronin. “A loss to the team from Presbyterian, or a loss to one Baptist. Is The Big O a Baptist? Hope so, because that’s a good sound bite.”
- LIVESTRONG wristbands discovered to contain carcinogens
- Neil Armstrong’s championship biking shorts flown at half staff
- 2007 Bengals Rookie Class Reported 60% Tougher to Pronounce
- Marvin Lewis dejectedly confirms he will not be fired
- Pittsburgh Steelers fans selling tickets, terrible towels, dignity on StubHub
- Bob Huggins ups his pimp game.