Reds run toward mediocrity behind schedule
CINCINNATI, OH - The Cincinnati Reds have surprised fans with a delayed run toward mediocrity.
“It’s disappointing to see a Reds team start out so far behind a mediocre record,” said baseball analyst Peter Robinson. “Usually, their race to mediocrity tends to start very early in the season. Hopefully some medicrity will start happening while the spring is still beginning to bloom.”
Reds players attribute the slow pace toward mediocrity to a sense of destiny. “Everyone has worked moderately hard in the off-season,” explained the Reds mediocre manager Bryan Price. “Guys out there giving approximately fifty percent in the weight room. Showing up somewhere between thirty seconds early to three minutes late for practices. I’m somewhat averagely pleased with how things have come together.”
The team itself is not alone in their spirited quest for mediocrity. The City of Cincinnati has shown support by continuing its own mediocre existence. the fans of Cincinnati continue their middling support of their team, and the Cincinnati media continues their proud tradition of mediocre coverage of all the mediocrity.
- Ben Roethlisberger and brother compete in Sexual Assault Bowl
- 2007 Bengals Rookie Class Reported 60% Tougher to Pronounce
- Kidnapper Ariel Castro charged with holding Cleveland Browns offense captive since 2003
- Green Bay Packers' Aaron Rodgers undergoes facial reconstruction surgery
- Woman, 89, provides ball security training for Bengals
- Tiger denies charges of mauling handler.