Tim Tebow scolds concussion into turning life around and doing more volunteer work
GAINESVILLE, FL - A potentially tragic event has turned into an inspirational story of redemption, as Tim Tebow’s concussion has begged the Florida quarterback’s forgiveness and now pledges to work as a volunteer.
After receiving a brutal hit as his Florida Gators took on the Kentucky Wildcats, Tim Tebow spent the night in a Lexington hospital recuperating and undergoing tests. It was also at this time that he scolded and then engaged in a deep spiritual conversation with his concussion. By morning, Tebow had convinced his concussion that a better path in life would be to volunteer to help others throughout the world, rather than continue to cause brain trauma.
“I wish my concussion well as it goes off in the world to do good work,” said Tebow. “I’ve given him some contacts so he can spend some time helping out around a leper colony. I’d also like to see my concussion go on to volunteer and convince other injuries to change their ways. Maybe talk a torn hamstring into working at a homeless shelter, or a sports hernia into serving breakfast to Filipino orphans.
Cincinnati Reds announcer and FOX college football analyst Thom Brennamen commented, “I was lucky enough to get to spend a few minutes with Tim Tebow’s concussion, and I can say with absolute certainty that this is without question the finest example of a concussion to ever inhabit this planet we call Earth. I consider myself a better man for having been in the room with this particular brain injury.”
While in the hospital, Tebow also spent time cheering up sick children, conducting religious services, and even sat in to assist surgeons in several procedures. “Just another day, I guess.” explained the humble quarterback. “Now, I just wish I could shake this darn headache.”
- Ann Arbor sweater vest industry recovers after decade long slump
- Kidnapper Ariel Castro charged with holding Cleveland Browns offense captive since 2003
- Ray Lewis buys Aaron Hernandez jersey on eBay
- Samuel Jackson blushes after reading Bryan Price transcript
- Reds fans on pace to break MLB record for complaining about a first place manager
- Reds pitching staff detained by Arizona immigration police