Outraged NASCAR Fans Discover Jeff Gordon Only Pretending to Be a Hillbilly
In an unusual interview with Racing Weekly, Harvard graduate Jeff Gordon with a hillbilly accent for over two minutes. The confused reporter pressed the issue and Gordon finally dropped a bombshell saying, "Ok, Iím not really a hillbilly. I was born and raised in Maryland. You canít get any less hillbilly than that." After graduating from business school, Gordon decided to pursue a career in NASCAR and knew he could realize more lucrative returns by mimicking his hillbilly NASCAR fan base. "I did whatever it took from carrying Kodiak chew in my pocket to watching fishing shows on TV." Even though most of his fans are mildly retarded, Gordon stated he still regrets misleading them.
- Fans already speculating on Michael Jordan's possible return from latest retirement.
- Bryan Price looking forward to next 21 months as Reds manager
- Mayor-sized home plate installed in ballpark
- Jesus drops Tim Tebow from fantasy team
- Post-victory couch burning alleviates Lexington bed bug crisis
- NKU fan unveils optimistic tattoo about school's 2016 Division I debut