Outraged NASCAR Fans Discover Jeff Gordon Only Pretending to Be a Hillbilly
In an unusual interview with Racing Weekly, Harvard graduate Jeff Gordon with a hillbilly accent for over two minutes. The confused reporter pressed the issue and Gordon finally dropped a bombshell saying, "Ok, Iím not really a hillbilly. I was born and raised in Maryland. You canít get any less hillbilly than that." After graduating from business school, Gordon decided to pursue a career in NASCAR and knew he could realize more lucrative returns by mimicking his hillbilly NASCAR fan base. "I did whatever it took from carrying Kodiak chew in my pocket to watching fishing shows on TV." Even though most of his fans are mildly retarded, Gordon stated he still regrets misleading them.
- Ted Williamsí children agree to build life size bobble head figure with fatherís corpse.
- Ben Roethlisberger charged with 30,000 counts of sexual assault during Monday Night Football power outage
- Peyton Manning elected head pastor of Tim Tebow's Denver Ministry
- Jerome Simpson devours pizza and chicken wings on sideline
- Low quality copy of NCAA brackets creates office pool havoc
- Bengals leave Jacksonville with victory and $4,000 in hotel towels