Andy Dalton achieves mid-season mediocre form in first day of camp
Cincinnati Bengals 2014
CINCINNATI, OH - The Cincinnati Bengals have kicked off the 2014 training camp at the Paul Brown Stadium practice field. As many players are fighting for jobs and working through training to get into shape, Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton has been ahead of the rest of the team.[quote] Dalton achieved his usual mid-season mediocre form in just the very first day of camp.
“One....two....three....four,” exclaimed Dalton as he began a warmup with sit-ups. “Five....OK. I’m good.” Dalton then proceeded to take half a lap around the field, complete five jumping jacks, and then retreat to the Gatorade table where he promptly spilled a full cup of sports drink all over his jersey. These type of results continued and the rest of the day was spent proving that Dalton’s training camp was a success, and that he was ready to mediocrely take the field for a mediocre performance.
“I’ve had more training camps with this team then I’d care to remember,” said head coach Marvin Lewis. “And during that time, I’ve had so many mediocre players that I couldn’t count them all if I lived to be one hundred. But I would just like to say, that I have never had a player come out and achieve regular season mediocrity in such a short time during training camp. Andy Dalton has announced to the NFL that he is ready to be approximately better than about half of the other guys out there, and decidedly worse than the other half. It’s gonna be a heck of a season. I’m predicting 8-8”
- Robbie Knievel injured on teacup ride after setting jump record
- Kentucky Derby festival to kick off with ceremonial first Infield Urination
- Time for Reds, Coutlangus to Get Freaky on Pujols
- Jim Tressel sells sweater vest collection to pay NCAA fine
- Embarrassed Chad Johnson changes name to less conspicuous Chris Brown
- Marvin Lewis’ wife sick of constant throwing of challenge flag around house