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Cam Newton threatens to retire if drafted by Bengals

CINCINNATI, OH - Heisman trophy winning quarterback Cam Newton has declared that if he is drafted by the Bengals, he will retire from professional football. The statement came after the former Auburn quarterback recently visited Cincinnati during his tour of NFL teams.

“I’m just looking to contribute somewhere,” said Newton. “Any job in the NFL will be a learning experience and it will be an honor to just be in the league. Having said that, let me be clear that if the Bengals say my name on draft day, I will be out the door and on my way to retirement before they can put that orange and black hat on my head. Luckily, I made enough money in the SEC to set me up for life.”

The news came as a shock to Bengal head coach Marvin Lewis, who has made several visits to Newton’s workouts, and was thrilled to have him visit the team. “I was really hoping this would be a good match,” said Lewis. “I thought we might have some compatability with him, especially since he got in trouble for stealing that laptop in college.”

Newton joins Carson Palmer as a former Heisman winner who has decided that retirement is a better option than playing football for the Bengals. Other Heisman winners who have publicly stated that they would not play in Cincinnati include Ricky Williams, Charlie Ward, Vinnie Testaverde and even cash-strapped O.J. Simpson. Heisman winner and former Army fullback Doc Blanchard was even rumored to have said on his deathbed, “If heaven in any way resembles playing for the Bengals, I will retire from it and go to hell.”

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