Embarrassed Chad Johnson changes name to less conspicuous Chris Brown
MIAMI, FL - Following his arrest, cancellation of his television show, imminent divorce and release from the Miami Dolphins, wide receiver Chad Johnson has opted to keep a low profile. The first step for Johnson was to change his name to a less noticeable name, Chris Brown.
Johnson also considered several other very common names such as Bobby Brown or Ike Turner.
“We weren’t sure what Chad was up to when he came in today,” said Dade County Recorder Office employee Margaret Hatch. “Sometimes he just stops in to say hi and to thank us for all of the hard work we’ve done changing his name over the years. Often, he brings donuts. But it turned out he was looking to file more paperwork. He thinks that going under the name Chris Brown will take away the awful stain of being an accused wife beater. We’re just here to follow procedure and not offer advice, so I just filed the paper work and put the bill on his running tab.”
Johnson has been accused of head butting his bride of six weeks. Prosecutors are building a case and have made little comment on the matter. “It our policy not to comment on ongoing investigations,” said Dade County Assistant Prosecutor Hector Stanton. “We will say that we are taking the allegations very seriously. However, based on his football career, we find it quite surprising that Mr. Johnson was willing to engage in such a high level of physical contact.”
- Ben Roethlisberger and brother compete in Sexual Assault Bowl
- Miami Heat reluctantly agree to play out season before getting championship trophy
- Notre Dame Leprechaun admits to never meeting Smurfette girlfriend
- University of Cincinnati Basketball Coach Bob Huggins strikes recruiting agreement with Ohio's prison system.
- City of Pittsburgh curls up in ball, cries like baby
- The Bengals Draft, My Way