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Octavius Ellis, Pacman Jones, Pete Rose create life-coaching powerhouse

CINCINNATI, OH - A trio of Cincinnati sports icons have gotten together to form a company that seeks to improve the lives of many. Octavius Ellis, Pacman Jones, and Pete Rose have combined forces to create a life-coaching powerhouse.

“For the person who really wants to get their life on track, this is the team,” said the trio’s spokesman Chad Weatherington. “I know they are looking forward to accepting clients who need a bit of guidance to help them through this crazy journey of life. I can personally testify how powerful having them around can be. Even though they aren’t my life coaches, they’re only my bosses, my life has improved significantly since I met them. For one thing, they gave me a paycheck. That might not sound like a big deal to most people, but to a guy like me who has been in and out of prison for fraud and embezzlement continually for the last two decades, it’s a really big deal.”

Though the three men will be working closely together, they each have a separate skill set which they believe will contribute heavily to anyone in need of life-coaching. “I’m looking forward to teaching my clients lots of important lessons,” explained Pacman Jones. “I think, among the three of us, I bring to the table a wealth of experience on how to handle oneself in a bar fight. I’m also quite clever when it comes to skirmishes in nightclubs and taverns. In fact, I taught Octavius much of what I know a few years back, which helped him get out of a bar fight situation with little more than a suspension.”

“I’m the young gun on this team,” said Octavius Ellis. “I think my youth and enthusiasm is going to pump up our clients and excite them to overcome all challenges. I don’t want to give up all of my life-coaching secrets, but I will say that there are a surprising number of crisis people face in life that can be simply solved by throwing an elbow. There are tough situations where that doesn’t work, of course, and theat is when I offer my advanced advice about throwing two elbows.”

For his part, Pete Rose is also excited about the opportunity to help mould the futures of their life-coached clientele. “This is gonna be exciting,” said the Hit King. “We’re gonna make some dough and make some people’s lives better.  I plan to teach people using real world settings so our life-coaching sessions will take place at various dog tracks and memorabilia stores.”