Carson Palmer regrets Andy Dalton fantasy draft pick
MALIBU, CA - In another setback in what has been a frustrating year for Carson Palmer, the former Bengal is extremely regretful for picking Andy Dalton as his fantasy football quarterback.
“As soon as he took that helmet to the forearm against the Browns, I thought I was gonna throw up,” said Palmer. “I could have had Drew Brees, but I was just positive Andy Dalton was going to be a monster. In fact, I was so positive of it that I did not bother picking a back-up quarterback.”
Carson joined the fantasy football league early in the summer, and had high hopes that it would become a favorite new hobby. “I was looking for something interesting to do on weekends,” Carson explained. “Especially now that my entire Sunday is not taken up with losing football games. It is really important that I find something to do, otherwise I have to hang out with my brother Jordan.”
Some other members of the league believe Carson was distracted when making the pick. “Right before Carson made his pick, a guy picked Ochocinco,” explained fantasy league member Kevin Flynn. “After he heard that name, Carson got this sick look on his face and looked like he was having flashbacks or something. I don’t think he was in his right mind.”
Palmer is now disenchanted with the entire fantasy football experience. “I can’t believe Dalton got injured and had to come out of the game,” he said. “Who ever heard of a Bengals quarterback not finishing what they started. I’m thinking about making a demand that I get to redraft. If they don’t accept my demand, I will have no choice but to retire from the league.”
- Ray Lewis spends time before Super Bowl shopping for getaway car
- Aroldis Chapman introduces US fans to ancient Cuban ritual, ‘Summersault of Respect’
- Pacman Jones criticizes Mike Nugents efforts in bar fights
- Four generations of Nittany Lion mascots allegedly molested
- Bob Huggins ups his pimp game.
- Tim Tebow scolds concussion into turning life around and doing more volunteer work