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Mat Latos blasts inadequate service at Cincinnati tattoo parlors

CINCINNATI, OH - Former Reds pitcher Mat Latos has made no secret of his displeasure about his time spent playing with the Cincinnati Reds. In addition to his claims of poor clubhouse discipline and lax medical and training staff performance, Latos has now blasted Cincinnati tattoo parlors for what he calls completely inadequate service.

“These places were out of control,” said Latos of the tattoo parlors in Cincinnati. “There is no leadership, lots of laziness, and a complete lack of focus. You’ve got guys just hanging around doing nothing, staring into their phones. I saw one guy taking a nap. And most importantly, they don’t even bother to pull themselves together when a big shot major league baseball player like me walks into their shop. Don’t they realize my huge potential to adequately burn through a bunch of innings? They also seemed very unimpressed by my killer ink. That’s what happens when you don’t have good leadership, though. Things would be a lot different if Scott Rolen were running those tattoo parlors.”

The Reds were quick to refute Latos’ claims involving the club, and even went on to defend Cincinnati’s tattoo parlors. “The city of Cincinnati has a long history of fine tattoo establishments,” said Reds spokesman Richard Todd. “And our players and members of our organization have always been happy with the work they’ve gotten done. Felipe Lopez acquired one of his favorite neck tattoos while playing in Cincinnati. And our internationally respected team physician Dr. Tim Kremcheck got both of the butterfly tattoos on his buttocks done in Northside.”

This isn’t Latos’ first time harshly criticizing a city and ball club after being traded away. After leaving San Diego he did some complaining about the Padres, and went on to further complain about the city as a whole. “Looking forward to getting out of this dump,” commented Latos in the days following his trade to Cincinnati. “Having 85 degree sunny weather everyday can really drag a guy down, especially when he’s a moody bad-ass kinda dude like me. I need some edgy weather to surround my mystique.” Latos went on to complain that the city’s cuisine focused too much on fish tacos, and that the San Diego Zoo had a distinct lack of veteran leadership amongst the animals.