DERF Logo
   

our breathtaking newsletter

Weekly gloriousness sent to your inbox.

Drop your email address here»

Featured Local Event         full calendar»

Friday, July 26th - 12:00 PM-12:00 AM

Cincinnati Music Festival @ Paul Brown Stadium

DERF Happy Hour

Keep checking back here to find out where the next DERF Happy Hour will be!

sports News
  • Comments
  • sports home
  • Related Stories
  • Email To Friend

Knocked down OSU cheerleader receives get well bouquet from Ray Rice

COLUMBUS, OH - Following a frightening moment in which she was knocked to the ground and nearly trampled, Ohio State Cheerleader Ally Nelson recovered quickly. Even bigger than the surprise of being almost trampled, however, was the gift of get well soon flowers from former Baltimore Raven Ray Rice.


“It’s been an amazing couple of days,” said Nelson. “The Buckeyes are national champions, I have interview requests from all over the world, and my roommate and I somehow are proud owners of one of the 16 couches in Columbus that have not been set on fire. But the get well bouquet from Ray Rice, that was what really blew me away. It’s very pretty and fragrant, and he signed his name with a little heart over the ‘i’ in Rice.”


“I’m glad she enjoyed it,” said Ray Rice. “It’s really scary to see a woman knocked to the ground like that. Although, it doesn’t look nearly as scary in color as it does on a grainy black and white elevator surveillance video.”


It is uncertain what the motives were for Rice to send Nelson the bouquet. However, it has been noted that his new public relations firm issued a press release announcing that the bouquet had been sent hours before it was even ordered. “Ray Rice is obviously a changed man,” said PR spokesman Richard Hampton. “He engaged in sending this thoughtful gift without any expectations of notice or acclaim. However, if the NFL, Ravens, or any other professional sports franchise happened to notice and are impressed, please contact Mr. Rice’s management team immediately to discuss how he can be an upstanding member of your organization.”


Ally says she plans to dry and keep some of the flowers as a remembrance of this crazy time of her life. “I guess everyone is famous for fifteen minutes like they say,” she explained. “And getting flowers from Ray Rice sure beats some of the other stuff that resulted from my fall, like the twisted ankle. And the mean tweets from Oregon fans. And the creepy offer I got from Brent Musburger to give me $50,000 if I let him watch me give AJ McCarron’s wife a hot oil massage.”