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Tom Brady fires Super Bowl hair and makeup team

MINNEAPOLIS, MN - After an unexpected loss in Super Bowl LII, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady immediately fired his massive hair and makeup team before he left Minneapolis.


Brady’s hair and makeup team arrived in town hours after the New England Patriots won the AFC championship. “We need to start doing prep work as soon as possible,” explained Brady’s head stylist Tyrus Fame. “It is important to get a feel for the area’s atmospheric conditions, relative humidity, and altitude concerns. Plus, we need to make sure that the products we’ll need are available, and make arrangements for Mr. Brady’s bronzer to be flown in daily from Belgium.”


Hotel rates in Minneapolis are significantly higher than rates for past Super Bowl cities, many believe that the hike has to do with the hundreds of rooms that were reserved for Brady’s various stylists. “We have three entire floors reserved for members of Brady's makeup crew,” said Hilton manager Carlos Elstun. “We were also told to raise the water pressure in his room to maximum levels for the pre-game scalp invigoration.” 

Despite all the pre-game effort, Brady decided to fire his team after the devastating loss saying he needed to re-evaluate hair and make-up personel for 2019.  Brady's wife Giselle Bundchen stated, "My husband throws the ball and the hair team is supposed to do his hair.  Is he supposed to do his own hair too?  They did a bad job this year and that's why he lost the game."

Many guests in the hotels feel inconvenienced by the enormous teams of styling personnel that have been brought in to service the stars including Justin Timberlake. “I got this expensive room at this expensive hotel, and I feel totally shut out,” said Eagles fan Frank Tufano. “Everywhere I turn I am running into head-shaven entourage members and scalp moisturizing activity. And I hear it’s even worse at Timberlake’s hotel.”