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Stuck Mars exploration rover calls OnStar

MARS - Technology has saved NASA from a potentially disastrous situation as a stuck lunar exploration rover was able to right its course thanks to OnStar.

“I wish we’d had this kind of service back in my day,” said Apollo 13 commander James A. Lovell. “Instead of telling Houston we’d had a problem, I could have just hit the OnStar button and we’d have been quickly on our way.”

It isn’t the first time OnStar has been helpful to the space program.  The OnStar unit aboard the space shuttle Atlantis was able to help engineers locate the vehicle after it had been stolen by a group of Houston street thugs.  OnStar also was used to remotely unlock Atlantis after an astronaut had locked his keys inside.

OnStar technology is expected to provide assistance in NASA’s quest to look for life in other solar systems.  The service has been placed on satellites that will explore distant parts of the universe and has been programmed to search for local business as it approaches various galaxies. 

“Someday, we will find life out there,” said NASA spokesman Christopher Comer. “And when we find it, I’m guessing it will be because our OnStar service has alerted us to a nearby Starbucks.”