• About
  • Contact
  • LIFESTYLE
  • BUSINESS
  • SPORTS
  • ENTERTAINMENT
  • POLITICS
  • TECH
NEWS
Brent Spence bridge to be replaced by Ludlow built rope swing
Business

LUDLOW, KY - Amid the many plans being floated about for the future of the Brent Spence bridge, a team of citizens from Ludlow, Kentucky have approved their own plan and will begin construction immediately. The crew from Ludlow have engineered a design to replace the Brent Spence with a rope swing.

The four gentlemen behind the plan are neighbors, and concocted the idea while drinking beer on a local curb. “Some of my best ideas come when I’m having a few on the curb,” said the group’s spokesman Mike Dyas. “The rest of the world is whizzing around too busy to have any common sense, but me and the boys do things different. When you’re sitting on a curb drinking beer, the world slows down and that’s when inspiration is most likely to strike. One time we figured out how to cure the ebola, but we ended up getting too tanked to write it down. From then on, we always make sure someone has a napkin and a marker.”

RELATED STORIES
  • More news coming soon!

  • Rumpke launches Organ Donor program

  • Local Smart Car struck by pedestrian

The plan calls for a rope to be hung from a very high tree. “The tall tree part is important,” said another group member Don Houston. “That’s why I made sure to write it down on the napkin. Once you get a rope up there, things will come together by themselves. It’ll be a perfect time for the boys and I to take a break and enjoy a few pops while we watch the cars go rope-swingin’ across the river.”

Civil engineer Robert Benston is not sure that the plan will work, but is hopeful. “I only had a few minutes to look over the napkin,” Benston explained. “But it seemed reasonable to me. The taxpayer money that was going to go to the bridge will still get thrown around to the crooked politicians and their friends, and a few people might actually be able to cross the river. Plus, these Ludlow boys are really fired up for the project, it’ll keep them off the meth for a while. It’s a win-win.”


Business
Comments:
Try our weekly(ish) newsletter
Recent
NEWS
Florence Mall Santa disfigured in meth lab explosion
Derf
Mouse with human ear grafted to body seeks second opinion
Derf
Boy finally informs parents he is adopted
Derf
stuff Goes Here 2
stuff Goes Here 3

2003 - 2021
DERF MAGAZINE, LLC.
All Rights Reserved.
ABOUT

About

Contact

NEWS ESSENTIALS

Lifestyle

Entertainment

Sports

Business

Politics
All stories are fictional and satirical and should not in any way be construed as fact. Please read our disclaimer.